tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC February 11, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST
tony goldwyn. from espn, tony kornheiser and michael wilbon. shaquille o'neal. this week in unnecessary censorship. and music from alessia cara. with cleto and the cletones. and now, as luck would have it, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank to all of you for coming. love is in -- well, it's almost in the air. it's not in the air yet but it will ob sunday which is
i hope you remember that. valentine's day the day women all around the world wait eagerly to discover the new and wonderful ways their husbands and boyfriends will disappoint them. how does it work with gay men who are married? do they both give each other disappointing gifts? do they ever run into each other in the valentine's day crap aisle at cvs on the way home from work? here's a tip, if you're eating the edible underwear right out of the box? you're not doing it right. americans are expected to spend $681 million on valentine's day gifts for their pets this year. this is by the way how we know we have too much money. when we're spending $681 million on a valentine that doesn't see any difference between chocolate and poop. either one, equally delicious. you know, in the movie "ghostbusters 2" which came out in 1989 they say the world is going to end on valentine's day
which is good news if you haven't made a dinner reservation yet, you're off the hook. there's a goodwill store in sarasota sarasota, florida. they're asking people who have been through a breakup recently to donate their ex's old belongings for valentine's day. whatever they left behind, take to it them. if they do, they'll give you one of these stickers, i donated my ex's stuff. [ cheers and applause ] it's a great idea. they should rename themselves good riddance instead of good will. it's much more charitable to cause, yes. it's also so much less satisfying than setting it all hood of their car. you know, there's always a lot of pressure, especially for guy, to find the right gift on valentine's day. flowers always, when in doubt, go with flowers. even if it seems boring. if you're looking to get more creative, some gentlemen consider this.
the gift that tells her exactly what you think of her. the i still treat you like a little girl charm bracelet. delightful keepsake charms. a sparkly hairbrush. a doll house. a tiny diary. an adorable kitty cat. she may be a full-grown woman with a career and more education than you'll ever have. but to you, she's still a girl. this year give her the gift of conned sense. the i still treat you like a little girl charm bracelet. order now and get this adorable valenteddy bear with pink ribbons and boots absolutely free. she will love it. the i still treat you like a little girl charm bracelet. she'll regift this to the maid available at walgreen's. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: maybe don't get that. hey, did you know today is sarah palin's birthday?
former governor of alaska, turned 52 today. and to honor her, a local third grader named lindsay had a little tribute prepared for sarah's special day. she asked if she could present it to us on the show. we said yes. so here she is, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome lindsay. lindsay? [ cheers and applause ] >> hi, everybody. i'm sarah palin. is today my birthday? you betcha! i'm 29 years old but the lamestream media says i'm 52. i support donald trump. because we need a state tutor in the white house. i know state tutors because i
helicopter. well, i got to go make my husband todd a moose pie. obama's the antichrist, bye-bye! >> jimmy: thank you, lindsay. there you go. [ cheers and applause ] all right, help her down the stairs. speaking of the antichrist, the president is in l.a. right now. you know, he flies in every thursday for his yoga class. obama's in town for a couple of fund-raisers, which why does he still need money? he does know he can't run again, right? why is he raising funds? does he need money for cigarettes? this is going to be some weekend. obama in town and the l.a. marathon. you might as well drive to work in a tent. because that's about how fast traflks traffic is going to be move recognize wear have a president who didn't cause any traffic
president fitzgerald grant, tony goldwyn is here! [ cheers and applause ] from the great show "pardon the interruption" on espn, tony kornheiser and michael wilbon. [ cheers and applause ] and alessa cara. are you guys familiar with the guy they call the affluenza teen, killed people driving drunk, fled with his even more horrible mother to mexico. he's in custody in a correctional facility in ft. worth. i thought you might like to see what his life is like. >> this is what ethan couch calls home for now. when a judge ordered couch out to juvenile detention friday, sheriff dee anderson put him in the still shiny new lon evans jail. inmates never even interact. food through the bean chute. as they call it. visitation through the bean chute too. via computer monitor. >> there's no tv watching in this facility. >> unless an inmate wants to watch an exercise video. >> we're going to go in there
let's go! >> jimmy: isn't that cruel and unusual punishment? [ applause ] excuse me, do you have any other -- maybe something starring elle mcpherson? we have an interesting person night. a guy from house son, jeffrey at this timeswater participates in a game that i just learned about, called last man. the idea of this game is people try to avoid finding out who won the super bowl, indefinitely. these are sports fans. the goal is to be the last man on earth who doesn't know who won the super bowl. which is hard. and dumb also. you can't have conversations, you can't watch tv, you can't go online. we'll speak with jeffrey later on. he's a sports writer. he doesn't know who won the super bowl not just this year, he doesn't know who won in 2012. i hope i don't blurt it out, i really do. valentine's day, love is a mysterious thing.
>> jimmy: thank you. words. with the most romantic day of the year approaching sunday we thought it would be fun to go on the street to ask children to explain love. and this is what in addition to say. what they had to say. what is love >> what is love? >> i have no idea. >> what is love? >> um -- love is when you love somebody. and it's when you love somebody. and it's really when you love somebody. >> what do you think it feels like to be in love? >> it feels like -- heaven? >> what do people who love each other do? >> they be gross. >> what does that mean? >> they kiss. they be gross. >> if you're not in love and you want to be what should you do to find someone? >> go to a woman casino. >> what about tinder?
>> tinder? maybe. probably. if it's chicken. >> chicken tinder? >> yeah. >> fun to have on a date. do your friends at school have boyfriends? >> i don't know that answer. my friend pretended to but it was a stuffed animal. it was funny. at the school, who knows what happened with him. >> ithey like to do it all the time. >> do what all the time? >> play with my legos. >> do you like girls? >> yeah. >> do you have a girlfriend? >> who is she. >> isabella. >> what do you like about her? >> her hair. she has beautiful toys. >> there is anyone you have a crush on? >> it's a secret. i'm not telling anybody.
>> no. but -- she's beautiful. >> what do you like about her besides that she's beautiful? >> she's just beautiful. >> is there any boy you have a crush on at school? >> no. >> how did you know you were in love with her? >> i meet her -- when i meet her during kindergarten, she was just so beautiful. she had long hair. she was just so beautiful. >> i'm not really into that stuff anymore. >> like what stuff? >> like marrying stuff anymore. i feel like i want to be single just now. >> for the rest of your life or just now? >> just at the moment. i'm not sure about maybe when i get older. >> you want to focus on yourself and your career? >> yeah. >> what is love?
around! ba da ba ba ba hello my love! the flame is out... ugh...today the flame is out, tomorrow my attitude... your mother... antonio. antonio. que? the stove. it's not working. campbell's microwaveable soups. made for real, real life. whether you're out on the town... or in for the night... at&t helps keep everyone connected. right now at at&t, buy the samsung galaxy s6 and get one free.
no matter how you hang out, share every minute of it. right now at at&t, buy the samsung galaxy s6 and get one free. (man) hmm. what do you think? (stranger) good mornin'! (store p.a.) attention shoppers, there's a lost couple in the men's department. (vo) there's a great big un-khaki world out there. explore it in a subaru crosstrek. love.
jeffrey drosik-fitzwater. how you doing? >> i feel like they're going to make fun of me tonight. >> jimmy: you feel like? >> corn hizer and will wilbon are going to make fun of me. >> jimmy: no, never. are those vhs tapes? >> those are board games. >> board games, all right. we're getting a sense of you in general right now. >> yes. >> jimmy: so this game, who started this game, first of all? >> so there was a blogger who used to go to college basketball games. one year he told us readers about this game that he played kind of with himself to see if he could be the last man to find out who won the super bowl. and some of us decided we wanted to do it too. >> jimmy: this guy was playing with himself, you guys joined in, you still do not -- he doesn't play the game anymore? >> no, he does not. >> jimmy: you know who played in the super bowl, correct?
>> jimmy: you are a football fan in general? yes? >> sports fan. >> jimmy: sports fan. do you know who perform the at halftime of the super bowl? >> beyonce? >> jimmy: she was one of them, yeah, okay. don't we have to avoid all news to keep from learning this? >> sal: absolutely. in fact, we were afraid of looking up the new hampshire primary results because we thought we might have gotten spoiled there. >> jimmy: when was the last time you were online, then? >> for nonwork purposes, it would be sunday. >> jimmy: what are the rules of the game? that you have to abide by? >> sure, so you have to be either a sports fan or feel like you would have -- find out somehow what the result of the game would be. you've got to check in on twitter about every 72 hours or so. you actually -- there's actually a rule that you can't leave the country. if you leave the country you're automatically out. if you find out who wins or what the score is, you die.
honor system, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: there would be no way to monitor this. >> yes, something silly, there's absolutely nothing at stake, there's no point in lying about it. >> jimmy: in the past years, what are some of the ways you found out who won the super bowl? that got you knocked out of the game? >> one year i found out while listening to "all things considered." they were interviewing a politician in new orleans and that was the year the saints won so they wanted to talk about that. last year my wife, she was doing a writing assignment, one of her students, and her student wrote a haiku about the patriots winning. >> jimmy: oh. >> couple of years ago i found out that the seahawks won during a conversation about black history month. >> jimmy: wow. was russell wilson involved or something? >> yeah, yeah. i forget what it was. my friend just said, "and you know what else happened at black history month? the second black quarterback ever won the super bowl." if i didn't know anything i would have known -- if i thought
>> jimmy: you still don't know who won in 2012? >> no, not consciously. fy sat down and thought about it i could probably figure it out. but i never found out strictly speaking. >> jimmy: are you still alive in that game? are there other people still competing? >> no, i don't consider myself to still be alive. i think if i make it a year that's sort of the end point. >> jimmy: do you want to know who won? >> not really. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's see. for instance, the name of the winner of the super bowl xx 12 was painted on guillermo's stomach. and he were to start opening his shirt and revealing. would you cover your eyes? [ cheers and applause ] >> i don't know if i could resist looking at that. >> jimmy: you don't know. guillermo, show him. then you have the option of covering your eyes or not. and there it is. a permanent tattoo by the way. why do i want to tell you who
>> there are people who actually are actively trying to sabotage us are. a couple years ago, people will create twitter names with the result of the game and follow you so if you check your notifications you get spoiled. people call me and do all sorts of things. >> jimmy: this is the dumbest thing i ever heard of. >> yes, it is. >> jimmy: well, sounds like you're really enjoying your life. >> no, no, it's fun. it's good to kind of disconnect from the grid every once in a while and hang out with the people who are near you. it is silly but it's doing silly things. >> jimmy: what do you do for a living? >> i work for an organization called playworks. we provide opportunities at elementary schools for kids to participate in physical play at recess. i go to different schools and see kid. one year a kid spoiled it for me, 7:30 monday morning, he asked if i saw the game. the ravens won! >> jimmy: oh, those lousy kids.
keep your eyes closed and ears plug the for the rest of the year. >> thank you. >> jimmy: good luck, i hope you are the last man on earth. xrp [ cheers and applause ] thank you, jeffrey. we have a very good show tonight. music from aless yeah cara, tonight, from "pardon the interruption" on espn, time for three ridiculous questions from shaquille o'neal. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: if you had to eat a lightbulb how would you do it? >> i'd crush it. >> jimmy: with your feet or your hands? >> with my hands. i'd sprinkle it on some chicken caesar salad with some dressing.
out of it, enjoy it? >> of course, i would have to. >> jimmy: can you think of one practical use for your belly button? >> tsiis. >> jimmy: tsiis. what is it? >> to see if it stinks. get in there, make sure nobody's looking. >> jimmy: then if it does? >> get your ass in the shower. >> jimmy: you do take a moment to enjoy it? >> most of the time. >> jimmy: which would be harder for you to give up? eggs or the letter "q"? >> eggs. >> jimmy: eggs? >> every morning i got to get the sausage and cheese okay met. >> jimmy: your name would be shauille if it didn't have a q. >> it would still sound good. larry bird, magic johnson, shauille owe neal.
>> no. i love you, jimmy. >> jimmy: i love you you too. >> ciroc apple, the answer to life's all ridiculous questions.es and overages. switch to straight talk... ...to get coverage on america's largest and most dependable 4g lte networks. for half the cost. that's right. half. get any of the latest samsung phones or bring your own phone. unlimited talk, text and data is 45 bucks a month. and nothing more. find out more at straighttalkswitch.com. i'll be right back. be good.text mom. boys have been really good today. send. let's get mark his own cell phone. nice. brad could use a new bike. send.
[ cheers and applause ] then later, she's only 19-years-old and already a double platinum recording artist, her debut album is called "know-it-all," alessia cara from the samsung stage. [ cheers and applause ] next week on the show, david spade, megan fox, kerry washington, secretary of state john kerry, ben mckenzie, derek hough, from "game of thrones" nikolaj coster-waldau, plus music from chris stapleton, jason derulo, gwen stefani, and mash-up monday with "panic! at the sisqo." that is a combination of panic! at the disco and sisqo. it had to be done. that is monday night. despite the fact that he did not receive even one vote at the new hampshire primaries this the week, our first guest will be in the white house this year and for many years after that. he plays commander-in-chief fitzgerald grant iii on "scandal," watch it thursdays at 9:00 here on abc. please welcome tony goldwyn!
>> jimmy: very good to see you. i'm impressed you were here. you were this morning on "good morning america" live from the west coast, what time was that? >> i got up at 2:30 this morning. >> jimmy: good times. >> then i did a take over of the "people" magazine instagram account which started at 3:20 this morning. >> jimmy: great. >> gma for several hours. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> then we had a table read for the next episode of "scandal" which is awesome, directed by scott foley. >> jimmy: oh, okay, nice. >> which is fun. then -- so many things went on, now i'm here. >> jimmy: are you done? can you go home and go to sleep after this? >> no, we're live tweeting with fans tonight. tweeting. >> both. then i have to learn my lines for tomorrow. we had a table read today.
start shooting tomorrow. i have a 6:00 a.m. call time. and i got a call saying, the scenes are being completely rewritten, but we should have a script to you by 8:30 tonight. >> jimmy: tonight? >> i'm not going to be awake! >> jimmy: yeah, wow. it's hard to feel sorry for people in this business but i do feel sorry for you. >> do you? you should. >> jimmy: do you want to lay down for a while? >> i could. >> jimmy: relax. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: take off your shoes if you want to. tell me about your problems. we could do psychoanalysis. >> i could really use that. >> jimmy: how's everything? what's your plan for valentine's day? >> my plan for valentine's day -- >> jimmy: you've been married a long time. >> i've been married a long time, so you know. actually, my wife and i, because we sort of go back and forth never together on valentine's day. together on sunday. >> jimmy: good. >> so -- >> jimmy: better come up with something.
>> jimmy: how do you celebrate? anything, nothing? >> the fact after 29 years -- i always do something nice, i always get her flowers. but honestly, just being able to go out to dinner together and say, it's valentine's day and we're actually together! >> jimmy: 29 years is a very, very long time. that's almost 30 years. [ laughter ] like one more year. >> it would be 30 years. >> jimmy: i say that in a positive way. how did you meet your wife? >> we met many years ago at a wonderful place called the williamstown theater festival which is a big summer theater festival on the east coast, massachusetts. i was in college. it was my first job. jane, designed sets for movies, at that time was working in the theater. we met. i was -- it was my very first job, young actor in college. and this guy who i immediately became friends with said, you've got to meet this girl, i'm totally in love with her, and
and i went running with her this morning and i didn't have any shoes so i ran barefoot. my friend. i said, you ran barefoot? his feet were bloody. he said, yeah, can i borrow running shoes? she asked me to with her again. i said what did she say when you ran barefoot? he said, i told her i'm from queens. so i gave him my running shoes. why don't you come with me, be my wing man. i said, all right. we get up at fine:005:00 in the morning. she takes this beautiful bucolic pond in the country. at which point she strips off her clothes and dives into this pond. so i quickly take off my clothes. and i dive right in after her. and my buddy tony says, there are living things in there, i'm from new york, i'm not going in there, i do not swim in anything that does not have cement sides! >> jimmy: you are the worst wing man i ever heard of! [ laughter ]
know what i'm saying? so yeah. >> jimmy: tony invited to the wedding? >> tony was my best man. >> jimmy: oh, he was, wow. [ cheers and applause ] first daughter. and i his first son. we're still best friends. >> are his feet still bloody? >> still bloody, yeah. >> jimmy: on "scandal," i don't want to ruin anything, your character's love life is not going well. >> terrible. >> jimmy: yes, you don't have now a wife or a girlfriend. >> or a girlfriend. >> jimmy: is it inappropriate -- >> i wanted both. >> jimmy: -- for the president of the united states to go on tinder tinder? >> i don't see why not. >> jimmy: i don't see why not either. >> right? he would get so many hits on tinder. >> jimmy: that would be huge. >> i'm going to talk to shonda. >> jimmy: are you going to direct? >> very soon. scott's directing the one we're just starting tomorrow. and then me. >> jimmy: i like that you guy dozen that. i do want to ask, when you are
cast is the most difficult to deal with? suddenly you're a director, you're in a different position. who gives you the most trouble? >> who do you think, jimmy? let me put it -- do you want to guess? >> jimmy: i would guess josh. >> really? no, josh is -- josh is our real -- is the practical joker. but josh is really always sweet with me. the person who gives me a really hard time is ms. washington herself are heard. >> jimmy: kerry washington, really? >> she loves to tease me mercilessly, especially when i direct. i'll go, you know kerry, i thought maybe -- that's so great but maybe if we tried it this way. she's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. or like doing a love scene. well, i thought we would be kissing here. she's like, gahh! she said, tony, to make you crazy i'm going to be so nice to scott. >> jimmy: oh, really. wow. you guys are very tight. i'm happy to hear that. it is very rare. >> it's weird.
all still a real tight unit or you're very good at lying, i'm not sure which it is. >> for real. >> jimmy: it really doesn't matter. >> we're like -- >> jimmy: it is strange. >> it's weird and cultic, we love hanging out together. >> jimmy: every other show everyone hates each other by midseason two is usually when that happens, right? >> truly, i know. anyway, we're blessed. >> it's very good to see you. i hope you get a little bit of sleep. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "scandal" thursday nights at 9:00 on abc. tony goldwyn! we'll be right back with "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by mountain dew kickstart. three awesome things combined. dew. juice. caffeine.kids don't have to forage, got two jobs to pay a mortgage, and i've also got a brain. life's short, talk is cheap. i'll be working while you sleep. still don't think i've got a brain? you think a resume's enough?
good morning neon, shining bright. good morning hunger. good morning moon. good morning morning. which will be starting soon. lease a 2016 lincoln mkx for $399 a month only at your lincoln dealer. piano music. i'm glad you finally made it, dad. you have to experience this city. that's what you always say. you were right about the food. hi john. hey kevin. spent the day with an astronaut. one more.
how about a baseball game next time? done! done. book priceless experiences around the globe with... ...your world mastercard. only at priceless.com. at our house, we're always down for more... case in point: our handcrafted skydiving chamber. refueling! be hungry for more. just never be hungry. with premium pepperoni and 100% real cheese...
energy efficiency doesn't pick favorites. it should apply to everyone. i'm zach bacon with appalachian power. i'm an energy efficiency coordinator here in virginia. to me, it's all about being able to help our customers learn energy efficiency. this partnership with appalachian power allows us to touch more families in this region that really need it. (woman) when we first moved in, the house wasn't very livable. it had holes in the ceilings. it was very cold. they saved our house. (announcer) we may be a power company, but the true power in our communities comes from our people. so, let me get this straight -- u.s. cellular has the phone you're looking for, a network that's built to give you coverage
and 6 gigs for only $40 a month. that's a lot less than verizon and at&t. so, why on earth would you ever go with one of those other guys? switch to u.s. cellular now and get 6 gigs of data for $40 a month plus get $300 back. [ echoing ] just sayin'. >> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. tony kornheiser, michael wilbon, and music from alessia cara is still to come, but right now it's thursday night which means it's time once again for us to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week. whether they need it or not, it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> peyton, this is your final game for your career? >> i'll take some time to reflect.
i want to go [ bleep ] my wife. >> when the teachers unions attacked me with ads because i wanted to reform i [ bleep ]ed them and [ bleep ]ed them and [ bleep ]ed them -- >> last week they [ bleep ]ed me from behind. i was extremely careful with my hair. >> khloe has been spending every second with lamar. she feels guilty for needing to leave even if it's, you know, to take a [ bleep ]. >> you've come in as a bernie sanders supporter. you have a few doubts but you really like him. what do you think of his big [ bleep ]? >> it was a lot bigger than i expected. >> people came up and said, your mother, i'd [ bleep ] your mother. i'd [ bleep ] your mother. just over and over again. >> you talk about your son, you said he had a big [ bleep ]. >> he does. >> thanks for saving me.
behind, literally. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] mr. watson, come here. i want to see you. it started with a single connection. and the network was born. then, we connected more and more people until it became clear that the network was not a fad or a luxury but a basic human necessity.
one that connects your family and friends... your businesses, devices... mobile entertainment, connected cars, and connected homes. it grows as you grow. extending your reach to pull you closer to what you need and the people you love. because you are still evolving and so are we. with a network that is invented and reinvented everyday to work for you how and where you need it.
discover card. i missed a payment. aw, shoot. shoot! this is bad. no! we're good! this is your first time missing a payment. and you've got the discover it card, so we won't hike up your apr for paying late. that's great! it is great! (both simultaneously) thank you. at discover, we treat you like you'd treat you. get the it card with late payment forgiveness. (music) woman: i'll never remember all the projects, presentations, or meetings i gave up my nights for. (music's drums intensify) but days like this, i'll never forget. get out there, in the 2016 ford escape. be unstoppable. this is my fight song take back my life song
>> jimmy: hi, there. still to come, music from alisa cara. of all the duos who get paid to fight about sports on tv, our next guests are both the best and the baldest. their always entertaining show "pardon the interruption," is in its 15th season on espn. please welcome tony kornheiser and michael wilbon. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i like seeing you guys together, i like seeing your bottom halves also. it's like ernie and bert, you never see the bottom parts. >> you're lucky i dressed. >> jimmy: i'm happy to have you here. we met on a plane. >> five-hour flight, it was
>> jimmy: tony, you hate flying. >> hate is low on the bar, it's worse than hate. >> jimmy: what is it like to fly with tony? >> i did ate lot for 25 years, i've bailed now. >> jimmy: no more flying? >> this was a four-pill flight for him i'm guessing. >> no, he's seen me walking on the concourse to the plane, stopping at water fountains and throwing xanax down like they're tic-tacs. >> jimmy: wow, wow. >> i'll vouch for that. >> jimmy: you never get over that? >> i tried. and took that course. but the graduation exercise is you've got to go on a flight. so i didn't actually graduate. [ laughter ] >> he's like my 7-year-old, he has to get on a flight and meet the pilot. >> i do. no, wait no. honestly, that puts you at ease. if anybody out there is afraid of flying, meeting the pilot is a great thing. you realize he's a regular guy, regular woman, whatever. there. >> jimmy: what if the pilot is
>> you just blew ten more years of flying for him. >> i've walked off planes. >> jimmy: based on the pilot? >> no, just some sort of tremendous -- i have the attendant fears. the fear of boats. the fear of bridges. it's separation from land anxiety. >> jimmy: so you're consistent in general. >> yeah. >> jimmy: at the very least. >> if you need to drive somewhere? i'm your guy. >> he's your guy. >> jimmy: and yet that's the most dangerous thing there is. [ cheers and applause ] how long are you known each other and how did you come to be a team? >> i hate to say it, 35 years. i was a summer intern, he was a slightly older gentleman even then. >> right. i maintain that distance as time goes on. >> we worked together for 22 years at "the washington post" before anybody said, you should be on television. which we thought was a joke. >> well yeah. >> jimmy: whose idea was it to pair you on television? >> mark shapiro. >> when he was running espn. >> jimmy: he saw you and he said, oh, these guys would be
>> what he wanted to do, espn at that point did not have a commentary show, did not have an opinion show. and he felt if you're going to have an opinion show, which he thought the network needed, it would be great to have it from washington, d.c. because that's where all the sunday talk shows, the political shows are from, opinion shows. he'd seen us work together on a variety of espn things and thought it would be a good idea. >> he said the first thing he was going to do if promoted to a high level was put us on tv. the second thing you are going to do is be fired. >> jimmy: you were skeptical? >> we were both skeptical. >> i have mirrors in my house. we didn't think we looked like television people. the late great howard cosell once said these words to me. "don't you realize you're unsightly?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: such a handsome man himself. >> absolutely. the first deal we got was a three-year deal, two years guaranteed. and one year at the option of the network.
they're going to fire us in three weeks. this is a great deal, take it. we had confidence. >> jimmy: it was -- i love watching you guys. the chemistry, i could watch you talk and argue about anything. do you know at this point after all this time together how to skin? push a button? regularly do? lay do it. if you're in a mean mod mood when you come in you might do it. there are things we could do but i don't think the viewers are going to go for that. >> jimmy: right. >> intentionally pushing buttons. people say, do you get angry at each other? in the moment we do. then you let go. we're not fighting walking out of the studio. >> no, look, for a lot of people it's like watching their grandparents fight. you know, that's fun, that's fun. >> jimmy: are you best friends? >> not best friends. we do stuff together. people are shocked if they see outside a golf course together. >> we play golf. >> they scream out, you guys don't hate each other?
matthew is really young and my kids are out of the house. >> jimmy: have you seen each other naked? that's an important question. >> locker room, probably so. >> jimmy: probably so? >> probably so. >> jimmy: an impression was not made. you guys, i was watching you guys today, you were talking about dwight howard, true or false, a cancer on every team he is. >> true. >> true. >> jimmy: i'm a lakers fan. i think as a group we felt burned by the dwight howard experience. >> wherever he leaves, if he's there rlgs, there's discord. he leaves, he's left the teams in a worse spot than when he got there. >> jimmy: it does seem to be the case. yes, michael? >> yeah. >> jimmy: is he one of your neighbors or something? >> no -- >> you defended him for years. >> i did. this is a hot-button thing. tony started attacking him while he was leading a team to the finals, not great timing. >> jimmy: i don't know. >> who won that one?
subsequently players influence you. players pull you aside and say, this guy's a clown, he's never serious about his craft, you start to listen. >> jimmy: players talk to you and that does influence you. and we know kobe bryant didn't get along with dwight howard while they played together at lakers. i assume that's who told you that. >> not necessarily, no. not necessarily. >> jimmy: you've heard it from a lot of people? do you run into these guys? a guy like dwight howard, then do you have uncomfortable confrontations with people? >> you know what, most of them -- it's different when you criticize somebody when you're a writer, writing for a newspaper. that's just criticism. when you criticize, you know this, you say mean things on television, you're part of the show. there's a different perception. >> ask him about chip kelly and how that's working out. >> i was not one of the national lap dogs when it came to proclaiming chip kelly's genius. >> he killed them. >> i criticized people who -- >> he killed chip kelly. >> i was critical of chip kelly. >> genius. >> i spoke to him last week at a
>> jimmy: and? >> 20 great minutes talking about pro basketball, talking about travel. stuff he wouldn't do. all kinds of stuff. >> he was gleeful when kelly got fired. >> i'll show you the text he sent me when i told him i had a great conversation with chip kelly, it's not repeatable. >> the last two words followed by six exclamation points are not for this audience. >> jimmy: that's very interesting. will it change the way you speak about chip kelly in the future? >> largely no. >> jimmy: it will not. maybe you guys aren't going to a basketball game together. it's great to have you guys on. you guys are here in l.a. tomorrow as well? >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: pardon the interruption" airs weekdays at 5:30 eastern time on espn. tony kornheiser and michael wilbon. be right back with alessia cara! >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live
tony goldwyn, tony kornheiser, and michael wilbon and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time, unfortunately. "nightline" is next. but first, this is her album "know-it-all," here with the song "here," alessia cara. [ cheers and applause ] i'm sorry if i seem uninterested or i'm not listenin' no i'm indifferent truly i ain't got no business here but since my friends are here i just came to kick it but really i would rather be at home all by myself not in this room with people who don't even care about my well-being i don't dance don't ask i don't need a boyfriend so you can go back please enjoy your party i'll be here somewhere in the corner
marijuana with this boy who's hollering i can hardly hear over this music i don't listen to and i don't wanna get with you so tell my friends that i'll be over here oh-oh-oh here oh-oh-oh here oh-oh-oh i ask myself what am i doing here oh-oh-oh here oh-oh-oh here and i can't wait till we can break up outta here excuse me if i seem a little unimpressed with this an anti-social pessimist but usually i don't mess with this and i know you mean only the best and your intentions aren't to bother me but honestly i'd rather be somewhere with my people we can kick it and just listen to some music with the message like we usually do and we'll discuss our big dreams how we plan to take over the planet so pardon my manners i hope you'll understand it
not there in the kitchen with the girl about her friends so tell them i'll be here right next to the boy who's throwing up 'cause he can't take what's in his cup no more oh god why am i here oh-oh-oh here oh-oh-oh here oh-oh-oh i ask myself what am i doing here oh-oh-oh here oh-oh-oh here and i can't wait till we can break up outta here hours later congregating next to the refrigerator some girl's talking 'bout her haters she ain't got none how did it ever come to this i shoulda never come to this so holla at me i'll be in the car when you're done i'm standoffish don't want what you're offering and i'm done talking awfully sad it had to be that way so tell my people when they're ready that i'm ready and i'm standing
my beanie low yo i'll be over here oh-oh-oh here oh-oh-oh here oh-oh-oh i ask myself what am i doing here oh-oh-oh here oh-oh-oh here and i can't wait till we can break up outta here if you're ready then i'm ready oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh if you're ready then i'm ready if you're ready then i'm ready if you're ready then i'm ready this is "nightline." >> tonight channing tatum's stamina secret. >> whoopi. >> the star of "magic mike." the guy once named "people's" sexiest man alive takes us deep into the jungle to uncover the
favorite natural energy source, a sort of amazonian tea. >> very nice. >> why he says all of us should be drinking this stuff. plus motherhood may seem glamorous for kim kardashian who has nannies and hangs out at fashion shows. but the reality star has created an uproar by saying that going from one to two children has been a major adjustment. however, can two really tip the scales for some stressed-out parents? it's been more than ten years since the band ok go went viral using treadmills in "here it goes again." now they are back and defying gravity in "upside down and inside out." how they did it. but first the "nightline 5." >> let's give these dayquil liquid gels and go. >> these are new, mucinex max. >> same difference.